Glitter Wave.

When Ella was diagnosed with a brain tumor, a wave of anxiety and frustration washed over me and I have remained barely treading water in this sea of stress and sadness for over three months now.  I’m not the only one a few tear drops away from having those waters overtake them completely.  Alycia is now sick, she is unable to stay by Ella’s bedside for she hasn’t the physical energy to do so nor would she risk infecting Ella; even a cold would be devastating to Ella’s compromised immune system.  I too have come down with something, maybe it’s just the depression making me tired and listless, maybe something else, either way I have taken a few days to regain my strength. My wife Deb has taken over, she stayed with Ella again last night and reported to me that they had fun watching Mary Poppins and reading stories.  Alycia’s mother will be taking over tonight and then hopefully Ella’s stepfather Mark will go stay with Ella, and give Alycia another day to fight off the cold.

Ok, that is the update on us, how about Ella?  How is she doing?

Well I’m hesitant to report that Ella is doing remarkably well.  The past three days or so she has had her eyes opened for…….wait for it…….5 to 6 hours a day!!  She isn’t tracking anything, but she’s blinking and keeping those big blues opened wide.  Also, I woke up at 3am the other morning, rolled over to check on Ella and she was raising her left arm up in the air!  What?  I got up and said “great baby, keep going you’re doing great!”  which startled her and her arm quickly fell back on her bed.  Next time I’ll approach these events with more caution, I’ll refrain from scaring the crap out of her.

So, I’m hesitant to get all excited about these wonderful new changes, because this roller coaster ride is far from over and just when we get our hopes up, some new setback crashes down upon us.  We get smashed against the rocks and held under the current while wave after negative wave, smother us all.

Yesterday I walked out onto our porch and found a sweet older woman crouching with her back to our door, tip-toeing down the stairs. “Hello, can I help you?” I said and she turned and smiled and pointed down at a manila envelope propped up against the door.  “Hi, I was just leaving something for Ella” she said “I’m Taelyr’s grandmother Lin”.  Taelyr is the sweet 7 year old daughter of our awesome landlords, Jason and Chanin.  They have six beautiful acres out here in west county, just east of the town of Graton.  Their house is at one end of the property and ours at the other.  When Deb and Ella and I came out to the open house to meet the owners and turn in our rental application, within minutes of getting out of the car and meeting Jason and Chanin, Ella and Taelyr were off!  Taelyr asked her parents if she could take Ella down to their house, and upon hearing “yes” these two amazing girls began there lifelong friendship by skipping through the tall grass, past the Gravenstein apple trees and disappeared over the hill.

We all smiled, Deb and I and Jason and Chanin all knew we had found the perfect renters and the perfect landlords.  And as Lin, Taelyr’s grandmother, began to tear up as she finished introducing herself to me, I quickly walked up and hugged her and told her that I had already cried all the tears that anyone need shed for Ella.  Lin was a school teacher who had just retired, but you could tell that she would never stop loving those children and would always be a first grade teacher at heart.  I opened the package and there I find a book and beautifully written letter to Ella.  I read it and started to cry.  I had just explained to Lin that Ella was doing good, she has been progressing every day, and I realized as the tears poured from my eyes that the person who needs to most convincing of Ella’s progress, is me.

Thank you Lin, I hope that Ella gets to read that book to you one day, on a night that Taelyr and her have a sleep over at your house while Jason, Chanin, Deb and I, drink wine and chase chickens and sheep around the Pikes Peak paradise.